Permission to Heal Episode #78 - A Conversation with Ann Hince about Healing Through Experience

A Conversation with Ann Hince about Healing Through Experience

As many of you may know, changing what is on our inside, changes what we see on the outside, so it is Ann's belief that we can not only change our personal world, but also our collective world.

Ann has developed the ability to sense inside her body and release physical tension stored in her connective tissue, using solely the focus of her mind. She has x-rays to show the physical changes resulting from this inner work - including changing the alignment of her eye sockets, the straightening of her neck, the centering of her lower jaw, and the growth of her tooth roots. Ann wants us all to know that we have this incredible power within us, it just takes going further with practices that you may already be doing.  

On Ann's  YouTube channel she shares her journey, explains the connection between the physical and the spiritual, and will be posting videos on how to change the pressing issues of our time.

Her book, A Pathway to Insight, details her journey and breaks down the steps she took to attain what she calls Insight, or the ability to see within the body. (Buy your copy from THE PERMISSION TO HEAL BOOKSHOP and support local and independent bookstores.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to permission to heal. I am Marci Brockmann and I am thrilled that you are here today. Today. I have the pleasure of talking with Ann Hince, who talks about healing through acceptance. She. Very interesting. Has the developed the ability to sense inside her body and release physical tension stored in her connective tissue to heal her body and her mind by, by changing, we can change ourselves along the spectrum of awareness and feeling, and healing and peace through tapping and through internal awareness. 

[00:00:50] Inside our bodies that stores the tension and the feelings, whatever the feelings or emotions are that we are holding inside from different experiences throughout our lives. She, she writes about all of this in her book, a pathway to insight that explains the steps that she undertook to get where she is today. 

[00:01:10] And her ultimate goal is to. Teach this particular path to inner peace that we all really need. She's a very interesting woman and has a lot of awareness and deep insight into herself and the human experience. ''
 

[00:00:00] Hi, Ann, how are you? Hi, I'm I'm great. It's great to be here. I'm so glad that you're here. Um, I sent here a little bit of an accent. Where are you? Where am I speaking to you from? I'm in California, but I'm actually from England. I've been in California for 33 years now. Oh, okay. So there's still a little bit of the English accent. 

[00:00:19] Under well, yeah, if I go back to England, they think I'm American. So really is a Atlantic accent. Yes. Okay. So somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, that's where you're, you're, you're interesting. Where in England are you from? Uh, I was born in Cornwall, but then we lived in the Midlands. We traveled around the world, so I didn't really have a, um, a really solid home base. 

[00:00:42] Interesting. Were your parents in the military or something? How did you travel? My dad worked for a company called cable and wireless, so, and telecommunications. Right. So I lived on in five countries and four continents before I was 16. Wow. That's so cool. what did you find that disjointed as a child like being uprooted and after you've made friends and established yourself and having to redo that, did you find that like disconnection. 

[00:01:10] Well, yeah, it was hard to, to keep friends. And that's actually why at the age of nine, I was sent to boarding school in England. Oh. So that's when we lived in Hong Kong. So, oh. I was sent to a boys' boarding school for the first two years. I was actually the first girl boarder at a boys' boarding school. 

[00:01:28] The only girls surrounded by boys. What the heck they had. They had day goals, but you know, at the end of the day they would go home and, and I would be left. My room was in sick bay and I was teased mercilessly. It was really horrific that first year for school. Wow. Wow. Okay. Don't do that. no, don't do that. 

[00:01:51] Well, especially if, especially if you adopt two children, to me, I've just never understood that. Right. My brother and I were both adopted and at the age of nine, we were sent to live. Or to go to school in a different continent. It, it, I've just never, never understood that, but was it just because they felt that that traveling around uprooted you too much and they wanted more stability for you? 

[00:02:15] Or I think that's what they said. Yes. But you don't feel that that's what it was. Uh, I don't, I don't really know. My brother was a little difficult to deal with, you know, so maybe. Maybe they needed some time away from him. Yeah. And I got to do the same thing. I dunno. Did you miss, just part of the story, did you miss your parents? 

[00:02:34] I was, it was always sorting terribly. Yeah. I was terribly homesick, but at the same time, you know, my parents were both alcoholics, so, you know, it was pretty. You know, I'd spend the, the weeks at school counting down the days to go home and then I would get home and it would be great for a day. And then I'd just be waiting again to go back to school. 

[00:02:57] So I wasn't very present. The grass is always greener somewhere else. Yes, yes. Yeah. That must have been really hard yearning for home. And yet knowing that home was so unpredictable and volatile and then going back to school and being teased and not feeling comfortable, how did you find any sense of safety or, or a place to let your hair down in any of that? 

[00:03:22] Well, I didn't really, I did have a good friend who kind of had a similar, um, background and, you know, we. We would share things with each other, but in general, I was just a real expert at suppressing my feelings. So you've come 360 degrees or not three hundred sixty, a hundred eighty degrees. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

[00:03:41] Contrast is good. You know, I, I do think that the more contrast you have in childhood, the more capacity you have to change and to grow to the other, you know, the other side of the stick. Yeah. That makes sense. I'm I'm, I'm picturing that visually. And that, that makes a lot of sense because there's a lot more, a lot more chance for growth, a lot more chance for evolution and change and so on. 

[00:04:04] If you've got a longer way to go or, yeah. Well, you've been to the other extremes. It's like Abraham Hicks. She talks about two ends of the stick. It's like, well, if you experienced unhappiness, then you're really gonna appreciate happiness. Right. So if you've experienced real, I mean, I used to call my life health. 

[00:04:21] If you've experienced hell, then, then you're gonna really appreciate when. Right then anywhere outside of hell is heavenly. Right. That's right, right, right. I think it teaches us flexibility and it teaches us resilience and it teaches us. Problem solving and, and how to, if we're awake enough, how to create and maintain healthy boundaries so that we don't wind up back there. 

[00:04:47] You know, I mean, I know it took me 40 years to figure that out, but, well, yeah. Literally never. Exactly. Yes, exactly. So you wrote a book called a pathway to insight. Um, why don't we start there and why don't you tell us about your book? Okay. Well, my book is basically a story of the steps that I took to get to where I am now. 

[00:05:14] So it kind of starts about in my late thirties and I'm now 55, so, okay. Um, it was the story that it, there was the steps that I took, cause I. I was probably gonna forget the details of the steps I took. Cause I wanted to write them down sense. So I, so I, I did. Yeah. And because, you know, the further I go, it is harder to remember those, those steps. 

[00:05:37] And there was some really interesting things that happened along the way. So I wanted to capture them. And so if anyone else wants to take the steps too, because there's, we have so much power within us, things that I didn't know, you know, I've done things now that I didn't know were possible. And so I want other people to know that possible too, so that they can aim for that because I didn't. 

[00:06:00] I didn't know I could go here. So I want other people to know it's possible. Like, what did you think was impossible that wound up being possible? well, the term insight, right? We, we use that term insight, but I believe we generally use it in terms of going into the mind or even outta the mind into imagination. 

[00:06:20] Right. But what I've realized is that we can actually sense inside of our body. So inward sight or inside sight, I'm actually looking inside my body. And I can release tension at the level of the connective tissue and my bones, the skull, my skull structure has totally shifted. My jaw has centered. It was way off to the side and it's much more SCED now because you've collapsed. 

[00:06:44] I socked the muscles and things. Right. The connective tissue, um, which is in everything. Right. I can put my awareness inside the bones and feel them release and relax. So my eye sockets align, I I've never heard that before. And you can do that just with your focused attention. And my neck is straightened. 

[00:07:05] I, and I actually have grown half an inch. I had my son measure me last week and I'm half an inch taller than I ever was. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. I've always wanted to be a little dollar. I dunno what a half inch is gonna get me, but that's awesome. Wow. So, so what, how did you, what was the process of figuring out that you could do. 

[00:07:28] Wait, wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm looking at your career path. When you filled out on my survey and you were originally a software engineer, how does one get from a software engineer to, to, to doing what you're doing now to being an author about healing and, and so on. 

[00:07:44] I wanna hear your career path. This is like intriguing to me, then we'll get okay. Okay. Well, I was a software engineer and then I had children. So then I became a stay at home mom. Um, While during that process, I started a, like a natural foods. Co-op ran that for 10 years. Um, but, but mostly I was just a mom and, you know, it was going to the a doctor's appointment. 

[00:08:07] When I was in my late thirties, my boys were both young and my doctor recognized how stressed I was and that. I shouldn't have been as stressed as he could tell I was. And so he asked me why he was a holistic physician. So, uh, he asked me why or, or what it was on a level of 0 3, 10, and it was an eight. 

[00:08:25] Okay. And, um, you know, to give you a comparison for that, my first child, it was a 38 hour labor. And after 26 hours of labor and six hours of pushing my midwife asked me on the scale of zero to 10, where I. And I was a four, so kind of comparison it. Wow. Eight was really very stressed yeah. So, um, he asked me why it was, and I knew straight away. 

[00:08:48] It was because when I was 19, I'd walked into the bathroom one morning. When I got up and found my mother dead on the bathroom floor. Holy crap. So when he asked me what it was, the tears from that event, which was two decades earlier by then, the tears were still just under the surface. Wow. And so he used this weird tech with me called EFT, which was short for emotional freedom technique, also called tapping. 

[00:09:13] He used it for about 15 minutes and I walked away from that appointment. Being able to tell the story of her death in my mind, Uhhuh without the emotion arising. Wow. Which felt, it felt so different. Yes. Right. Something had really changed and you know, I'd been looking for something that worked sure that really worked long term. 

[00:09:33] Right. It wasn't just a quick fix. So, you know, being a software engineer, I went to make sure that it worked and it wasn't just a flu. So I had a 17 year old cat at home who needed daily saline shots. And the first time I gave him a. My hand was shaking so much. I mean, it was just crazy. Um, so I wasn't gonna be able to do it every day. 

[00:09:55] This just wasn't gonna work. So I thought, well, I'll try this technique out. So I tapped, as I said, it's called tapping as well. I tapped about my fear of hurting my cat about my fear of the injections, about my memories around injections. And the next time the needle just slid right in and my hand did not shake at all. 

[00:10:16] Wow. Total difference. Yeah, tapping works. I I've brought, tapping into my, I teach high school English and I've brought tapping videos and, and some, um, um, EFT stuff into my classroom just as. A potential modality to help them relieve their own stress. And if it's great and it speaks to them fabulous. And if it doesn't, they don't have to take it, you know, but I'm trying to like introduce stuff to these kids cuz we're in the middle of two years of COVID pandemic stress and yeah. 

[00:10:47] Anyway, I interrupted your that's great that's okay. So I started using it every day. I started noticing when I was emotional during the day and I would tap and let that those feelings pass through. But I wanted more and I knew there was a process where you could write down all your traumas and go through them one at a time. 

[00:11:05] So I did, I wrote down every emotional memory I could think of from childhood and earlier in my life. And I tapped through them one each night for about an hour to an hour and a half each night. Wow. I found, yeah, I wanted, I really wanna change and I found my mind becoming. Yeah. I found all the, the, the words that I'd been using. 

[00:11:26] I noticed those words inside my heads, that I'd been criticizing myself and judging other people, and I hated judging other people, but I found those words had been my dad's words that I had programmed into myself in childhood. Wow. But I couldn't see that until they were gone. Right until my mind was emptied of them. 

[00:11:44] And then I could look back and see, oh, they were, they were dance words and I just replayed them over and over mm-hmm so a lot of kids do that cuz it's what they grow up hearing. Yeah. So to them, that's what people say. That's the normal, that's the template that they have. Absolutely. That's the programming. 

[00:12:00] So, so I was reversing that programming and I actually felt, I remember opening the front door of the house and feeling like I was living in a different reality because things in my mind, my mind, just wasn't talking the way it used to talk. So it was really, it was really fun, um, just to notice the changes. 

[00:12:20] And so I wanted more yeah, I'm, I'm kind of determined sometimes when something's working. So, um, I realized that I had become aware of my emotions, like during this process, that's what EFT does it wakes you up? It actually opens up the subconscious mind. So then I started to become aware of the physical sensations underneath the emotions, right? 

[00:12:40] Every emotion, which is a word like fear or anger or sadness. Underneath it, there's a series, a selection of physical sensations. So like, you know, if you're angry, you're probably holding yourself tight. You might be holding your jaw tight. Yes. Right. Those are the physical sensations and we get programmed as children. 

[00:13:01] Right. Our, our parents will say, oh, you are angry. Or you are sad. And then we dissociate from the physical sensations and we start to use the words, right? So this is reversing that process. So I was becoming aware of the physical sensations. And at that point I felt like I didn't, what's the physical sensations behind emotional intelligence. 

[00:13:22] right. It, it's actually a deeper level of awareness, right? This is, it's the same kind of thing, but it's a deeper level of awareness. And then I started to, I didn't felt like I, I didn't feel like I needed EFT anymore, but I was in a group and this guy said, it's not about meditating. You don't have to meditate. 

[00:13:38] It's just about feeling your feelings. And he would say this every week, but I didn't know at that point, what feeling your feeling? Meant. So yeah, done enough E Ft at this point. So I, I thought, okay, I'm gonna try and do what he says. I'm gonna try and feel my feelings. So, so how do I do that? Because I was an expert at that's the big question. 

[00:13:59] How do we do that? right. So I would stand at the kitchen sink and I would find myself thinking a thought that was emotional, some emotion there. And then I would feel that, okay. So I'd, I'd find those physical sensations. Normally for me, it would be in my solar GL some. And then how to feel them. So I would actually have to hold myself like a statue. 

[00:14:21] I'd actually have to hold my. In order to keep that sensation there because it would want to squirm away. Right. It would want to, it would want to suppress, again, it wasn't used to actually being felt so I'd start talking to it in my minds. Okay. I can feel you right there. I can feel this tension right there in my solo Plex. 

[00:14:41] It's okay. It's okay to be felt. You can just stay there. I'm just gonna feel you. And I would, it would take a little while I talked to it and at some point I'd have to take a deep breath. And at that point there would be a shift. Something would shift. It was same thing with the Ft on the outside, but this is working at a deeper level. 

[00:15:00] And then I would bring the thought back to mind again. How does it feel? Does it feel any different and then I'd do the same thing again, it might have shifted somewhere else in my body. or it might be the same, but not as intense. And I'd do the same thing again. And I would keep doing that until the thought had dis the emotions underneath the thought had dissipated, and then it was, there was freedom. 

[00:15:22] That's freedom there. Yeah. And then I'd keep doing the dish. So it taken a long time to get the dishes dip done. because this was, you know, took a while to do, but right. But then I noticed I well doing the dish is a very mindful thing. You've got the sensation of the water and the soap and, and the noise. 

[00:15:39] And you're actually doing a task that in order to do well, you have to focus on, but it's mindless at the same time. I, I find it a very meditative sort of thing. So I, I read and then you can notice a lot with me, right. Then you can notice the thoughts you're having, right. And notice. If there's emotions there. 

[00:15:55] Yeah. So I would do this. So instead, instead of doing EFT at night, I would start lying on the sofa. I wanna start feeling these feelings and I I've done so much in my past. I now started working on collective traumas. Right. Cause we all have our own experience of collective traumas. Mm-hmm so like things like nine 11. 

[00:16:13] We all had some experience there. Right. And so I, I would feel those feelings and let that tension pass through. And, um, you know, it was pretty interesting. Some of the things that happened along the way, but eventually I became able to actually hold my awareness inside my body, once the emotions, the sensations. 

[00:16:35] Anticipated, which was really weird. I can see the expression on your face. I've never heard of it before. No. So hold, explain this to me. Take me, take me down a level. So, okay. So imagine you have a toothache or a stomach cake, right? You can pinpoint it with your mind, you know, where it is, but once that toothache or a stomach a is gone, you can't, you can't pinpoint it anymore because it's because it's not there. 

[00:16:59] It's not there. Right. But I found I could, I could hold my awareness. I can now keep my awareness inside my tooth roots. Right. I can feel inside there and I can move my awareness around. So yeah, really weird. I'd never heard anyone describe it before. Um, so I didn't really know what I was doing, but I figured it's the next part of the journey. 

[00:17:21] So I'll just keep going. Right. So then I would start. I could notice where there was tension on the inside and this is physical tension. I would do the same thing. I'd hold my attention on it. Just allow it to be, not try and change it in any way. Just hold my attention on it. And it would dissipate. And then I'll do it again. 

[00:17:40] And it would dissipate months or more. So at some point I actually could keep my awareness inside my head and at this point, because it's so close to my ears, which is just a weird thing to say, but, um, but, but it is . So I would re release enough tension that, that I could hear. Something release. I, it sounded and felt like old fabric ripping. 

[00:18:05] And, you know, I did, I did research at this point and realized, okay, so it is, it's the connective tissue. That is releasing its bonds where it's being bound. And, um, you know, then I just kept doing it again. It was kind of scary to begin with. Cause I didn't know what I'm doing. Am I hurting myself? I don't know, but I figured, well, it hurt. 

[00:18:23] You're not, you know? Right. And it, it felt relief right there at each point. This that feels like relief. Cause you're letting go of old stored tension. Yeah. So I just remembers these. Yeah, so I just kept going and you know, now I'm releasing really deep tension inside the bones and the teeth and my neck. 

[00:18:45] And that's, you know, why I had these x-rays, the x-rays were taken just for orthodontic work, but it's really interesting to actually have that, you know, that evidence of what I can feel inside just to see how the skull bones have shifted so much. So do you look different from the outside than you did before you did this? 

[00:19:05] Or, or, or you just feel it differently. Well from the x-rays you can see, and I, and photos, I have a, a YouTube video up there that shows photos for me as a child and how bent and twisted my neck in my head was on my body. And it's much straighter now. And the x-rays, um, from the side, the newer x-ray. If you look at it, it looks like the newer x-ray has much more self-confidence than the older one, which I find really interesting to see. 

[00:19:36] Huh. Cause I know, I know my whole posture is changing. Yeah. My head is kind of being pulled up and straightened and as that changes, everything else has to shift in my body. Right. Right. So everything is more in alignment. It's the way I, I think of it. So yes, I, I possibly do. I dunno, the look different to myself cause I've seen myself along the pro process and obviously the people who see you every day think you look the same, but right. 

[00:20:02] Interesting. Yes. I'm gonna have to look with that video. That's interesting, huh? I know that I, that. I, I hold a lot of tension between my shoulder blades and my back and the, the upper, like thoracic part of my back hurts. I know that when I'm my posture's bad and I'm slouching or, you know, or my phone too much or whatever. 

[00:20:29] Yeah. That, that's interesting. Cause the only podcasters who have said. Anything to me about the tension they hold in, their bodies has always been in their shoulders and their neck and upper back. So maybe it's a, a symptom of being a podcaster. Well, and it's also posture like, you know, normally my laptop right now is, is on a, on a, a stand. 

[00:20:53] So that it's up higher. So I'm, I'm not hunched as much, but when I, you know, everything in school nowadays is computer oriented and. And so I've got my laptop on the desk and I'm, I'm always hunched over my, my posture's not great in that capacity. Yeah. When I stand up, it's fine. But most of the time when I sit, I think so many of us just slouch into the couch or slouch into wherever we're sitting and that's not good posture for anything, for our core, for our neck, for our spine, for anything. 

[00:21:27] And, and so I've been. Aware, I've always been aware that that's where my tension is. And, and I, I can't, I haven't ever even conceived of putting my awareness in my tooth roots, but , but I certainly put it in my shoulders and in my upper back, and I can. Just moving around a little bit. I can feel it all relax and, and dissipate, which is always amazing. 

[00:21:59] But I, I really have to, I'm gonna have to try this with my, with my belly because. The second place I get tension is in my gut. So it, so the thing with EFT all with the feeling, the feelings is always to work on the most, the most of what it is that you're experiencing right now. Right? So cuz it's a very much a layer by layer process. 

[00:22:20] So if your, your shoulders are calling to you, because that's where the tension is, that's what you'd want to work on first. Right? And then once that relaxes, then maybe the most intense thing becomes the stomach. And then you'd work with that. So, um, it's, it's, it's so much a layer by layer process. , you know, I didn't understand that quite to the extent that I do now. 

[00:22:44] So, you know, sometimes if I'm working somewhere in my cheek here, it'll actually release in other places in my body that I would not have put my awareness on. Huh. Right. So I don't necessarily know where the body is going to release, but I put my awareness where, where I'm being called. The most to first interesting. 

[00:23:08] I'm interesting. I'm trying to create like a, a metaphor for that in my own life, or like an example of that. And the only thing I can think of really is that I I've been doing, excuse me, for the last few months I've been doing, um, reform or Pilates. And I always have like really tightness in my porous muscle and in my inner hip. 

[00:23:32] You know, and while I was doing some stretching for that stuff in my upper back shifted and in my legs shifted, you know, when I was finally like getting rid of some of the tension and the tightness, then suddenly I was able to stand up and walk better because my lower back wasn't being impinged by. The other muscles in my hip. 

[00:24:01] I don't know. Yes. It just connected in my mind. That's where it went. Yeah. that's great. Yeah. And going back to the posture thing, um, I think yeah, many of us are like leaning over what, looking at our phones these days or our computers. One thing that was interesting to me is. None of this work on my posture was conscious. 

[00:24:21] Like I was never trying to do any of this posture work. It just happened as a consequence of letting go of this intention. Right. I just feel my body being pulled upright. So, um, So actually, you know, kind of, it reminds me of the positive thinking, right? That what we are hearing about the toxic positivity, right. 

[00:24:46] If we try and think something that we're not really wanting to think, then we're actually suppressing what it is underneath, what we're actually feeling or thinking underneath mm-hmm and the benefit or. The power is in actually accepting what we are really thinking or feeling underneath. So that's the same with the posture. 

[00:25:06] If I try and, and put myself in a good position, then I'm actually suppressing the tension that I'm really feeling underneath. And if I let that. Tension that I'm feeling underneath go then I will automatically be in a better position. I see what you're saying. It's like backwards of what I've been doing or what I've been doing is backwards of what you're saying. 

[00:25:29] Interesting. So how do you do that? How do you decide, how do you know what. The what's causing the tension. How do you figure out how to release that? What thought? Right. Well, that's this, do you go and go through that's this deeper level of awareness, right? The, the level of awareness I have now, I could not have done this to begin with. 

[00:25:51] That's why I wrote these steps down. That's why I recommend EFT as a starting point, because we pretty much know, even if we don't know how we feel about something, right. If we don't know the physical sensations, Even if we don't know the emotion, we probably know what happened. Right. So we know that at the level of the words, right. 

[00:26:10] I knew my dad shouted at me. I might not know how I felt about my dad shouting at me, but I knew my dad shouted at me so I could tap. On that level first. And that would open up how I felt about it. And at a deeper level of awareness, then I could feel okay. I was, I was feeling scared when my dad shouted at me. 

[00:26:30] And when I was feeling scared, I could feel that tension right in my solar plexus. Right, right. Then I can work at a deeper level once I have that awareness. But until I have that awareness, I can't get there. Right. So EFT is great to begin. Do you, do you teach EFT on your YouTube channel or do you explain that in, in a pathway to insight how to do I, I do. 

[00:26:57] I do have one video on my YouTube channel. And I do talk about it in my book because that is the biggest, that was my biggest step. Cause I got rid of so much tension that way. Right. But there are thousands and thousands of videos as you probably know about EF on the internet. Um, one thing to be aware of is a lot of EFT practitioners move towards the positive. 

[00:27:18] They try and instill the positive where the, the power in EFT is letting go of the. And because I know at this point, it's the negative that is actually stored in the body and underneath the negative, the light's already there, right. It's already positive underneath the negative. So it's really the negative that we need to work on and let go. 

[00:27:41] Right. I'm writing that down. 

[00:27:47] and that's what EFT does, right? It works with the stored, the stuck energy that's in the body. And we don't stick the positive energy in the same way. It's the negative energy that's stuck in there. Yeah. I know when I was writing my book, um, the, the first. Draft of my memoir was pretty easy to write. I mean, I, I, 120, some odd thousand words just flew out of me in like six weeks. 

[00:28:14] And, and when I sent it all to my editor, his, his response for most of it was that I didn't dig deep enough that I was staying too superficial and that I needed to, to dig deeper. And so he was asking me also to very specific questions at various points and, and I, I found. I had to, and I've been keeping journals since 1983. 

[00:28:40] And so I went back to all of my old journal entries and I reread to reexperience what I felt and what was going on in through the, through the years. But I, I had this, I don't know, I don't know what you'd call it. I'm just gonna explain it when, when I was trying to remember. An incident or what happened, uh, an experience or some sort of altercation or something that happened when I was a, a kid or an adolescent, I, I found myself like I would close my eyes and breathe. 

[00:29:20] And somehow on the exhalation. I I found, I, I physically moved and I found my, my thoughts, like rolling into my body. And I was able to sort of go back in time through the trauma and feel that thing again. And. And I was able to then describe how it felt and what was going on and, and hear it and taste it and smell it and all that sort of thing so that I could really dig deep and, and express that situation and, and, and what, and what happened. 

[00:30:01] But, um, I think in some respects, it's akin to what you were doing. Even though, I didn't know that that was really what I was doing because it did release, you know, 50 years of stored up crap. for lack of a better word, you know, and I, it was really tough. I was very emotional and very overwrought and thank goodness for my therapist and my amazing husband. 

[00:30:31] And I was, I, I was really processing for the first time. all of that stuff that I had suppressed and just pushed down and, um, isn't it amazing how we store that inside of us? Yeah. Amazing. And that's the only place it doesn't. We could go right. . Yeah. Yeah. I do think because of the, the work I've done in my face stuff, our faces are so much a part of our history. 

[00:31:01] It's all stored in the fashion, the facial expressions. So I think you were probably putting yourself back in that physical posture that you held those memories in and allowed it to release. I used to hide, like my parents had a very volatile marriage and it was miserable for them and miserable for me as an only child living through that. 

[00:31:23] But I, I used to cower probably in a bowl, you know, which is where that posture comes from in my closet with a pillow and a Teddy bear. And I would hide in my closet and wait for the, the tornado to stop. Um, and. That maybe I never connected it until you were just saying that that, that may be where that posture came from and how I could roll back into myself. 

[00:31:47] Yeah. Interesting. yeah, that was good work. Thanks. I, I did have one moment. That was just so extraordinary. I was in, I was meditating during this time and I was. I had this image of myself as a 50 year old, or it was 51 when I was writing 52, when I was writing, um, Going back and hugging the elementary school age version of myself, let's say eight or nine years old and, and telling her it was okay that she wasn't wrong, that she could trust herself. 

[00:32:22] And it was all wind up being okay. She didn't have to worry about, she would always be safe, even if she didn't feel safe, she would always be safe. And, and I, I did this, I call it reparenting and I, I just, uh, it was a really beautiful. Thing. And I, I felt taller. I don't think I was, but I felt lighter and more liberated afterward than, than I had before the meditation. 

[00:32:47] It was really a very amazing thing. Nice. We do that sometimes with the tapping, with the EFT, we actually tap on the, the, we can tap on anyone else out here, like imaginary person and. The imaginary younger version of us and tap on them to let the emotions dissipate and then bring them back into us. So, yeah, and I, and I love that you said about feeling lighter because I do believe this is an enlightening process or the enlightening process. 

[00:33:16] is a process. Right. And it it's in on multiple levels. So the, there is the feeling of being lighter because we're letting go of the baggage, heaviness energy negativity. Yeah. Yeah. I remember feeling heavy for decades. Like just felt so heavy and it was really nice to actually start to feel lighter and more and less, highly strong. 

[00:33:39] Void. Yes. Easy to laugh, right. Not, yeah. And, um, but then there's also the process inside. Right? Cause I can sense inside now. So I know once we've let go of the tension, which I know that it was dark and underneath this light. So it is actually, you know, a sun that form of lightness right inside as well. So it's a, an enlightening cross excavate, the darkness, the lights, the light is there. 

[00:34:07] Yes. Yeah. Hmm. That's amazing, Anne. thank you. It's fun to know this stuff now. Right. To, to understand it. I used to, you know, I used to like the idea of the law of retraction, you know, the way people use it for manifesting. Sure. But, but actually now I have a deeper understanding of it. It is working all the time every second of every day, but I think of ourselves as being a signal. 

[00:34:36] All of us, every single part of us is a signal. And the biggest part of that signal is that stored energy inside of us, the stored memories. And if we let go of that, then our signal is very different and we start attracting something different into our future. So even tapping for like five minutes is gonna change our current signal and therefore change our future. 

[00:35:02] So I started asking myself why about that before? That's very true. I started asking myself during the day, how am I feeling right now? And do I want to feel this way again in the future? And if I don't, which was most of the time, then I would do something about it. Even if it was to take a deep breath or, or to tap for a couple of minutes so that I'm changing how I'm feeling right now to be more peaceful. 

[00:35:25] So I'm attracting peace back into my future. So do you have more times. In your life now where you ask yourself that question and the answer is yes, that you do. Do I want to feel this way again now I don't really ask myself it anymore, cuz I'm actually pretty peaceful these days. And I'm very, I'm very aware if I'm not, um, you know, I, I catch it to begin with like years ago it was really hard to catch and I maybe only catch it once or twice a day. 

[00:35:54] Right. But now I pretty much catch it whenever. So if there's like a tumultuous circumstance that just happens to arise, you can kind of ride it out better without the negative, storing that in your body, you can sort of ride a wave through it. Yeah. I can see it from a distance. I can see it for what it is. 

[00:36:11] And normally it's a, if I'm feeling something it's a replay. Law of retraction. Again, if I'm feeling something now to replay from something I've experienced before, we just tend to replay things over and over again. So, you know, how am I feeling right now? And I'm experiencing a lot of, that's just not right, right. 

[00:36:31] That the feeling of that thought that's just not right. I experienced that a lot in childhood. Right. And I'm experiencing now on the collective right. Things that happen in the news or in politics or whatever, it's just not right. That feeling is replay for me. Things are replaying for me to experience that feeling. 

[00:36:52] And you learned enough to be able to trust yourself when you feel those things, that you're actually feeling those things and you know what to do with it. Yes. Yeah. Wow. I, I, I keep, since you said it, I keep my mind keeps going to you finding your mom dead. I, I can't as a, as a daughter. How do, uh, how do you reconcile that in your own, in your own mind? 

[00:37:21] I mean, I, my mom died like in 2013 and I'm not the one who found her and, and it, I, I think about. I think about that less than I ever have more, less often than I ever have before, because I have come to terms with it. But I mean, that must have been a ridiculously difficult thing to, to make sense out of. 

[00:37:44] I just did a lot of tapping, right. There were a lot of, uh, like there was the experience of what happened. There was the emotions of what happened. There was the aftermath of what happened and it was just a layer by layer process. Right. So I would tap through the sequence of events that I could remember, and then I would go back and do it again, and I would do it again and again and again, until I could tell the whole story in as much detail as I could possibly remember. 

[00:38:13] and it just felt like I was telling the story from a story book. Right. I was reading it when I can do that. Then the emotions have gone. Right. It's not stored as energy inside of me in the same way. So it's not part of my signal and it's not attracting similar feeling events into my future because I don't want events to feel like that in my future. 

[00:38:35] so, yeah. There are most of those, most of those hot button moments or hot button feelings I have let go of, but there are a couple of difficult residual ones that keep popping up for me. I'm gonna try this with that. So what I know, right. What I know at this point is that means that there is tension, right? 

[00:38:58] DISE inside the body where those memories are stored. That you haven't yet cleaned out. Well, we get triggered when new things happen that are the same as that other thing, you know? Yes. There's the replaying and it's replaying so that you will remember it and actually work on it. And until that happens until it's cleared out, it's still part of your signal. 

[00:39:24] Right. Right. But once I've cleared out the signal, then when those things ha those similar things happen, I won't be as reactive. Absolutely. And it's such a nice place to be. Yeah. Oh my God. I want that so badly. 

[00:39:41] oh, I can see it. I can taste it. I just haven't gotten myself there yet. Interesting. That's okay. It's your path, that's the path. That's the path. Exactly. And if I healed all those other things and I was able to get past all those other things, I know I will be able to get past this too. So I just, yeah. 

[00:40:01] Yeah. I mean, it's scary. It is scary sometimes to try and, you know, pick apart these, you know, horrific traumas that some of us have had. We kind of feel like those emotions are going to annihilate us, but it's really just stored. And it wants to leave the body. It wants to be gone and there is freedom on the other side. 

[00:40:21] So if we have, you know, some successes with smaller triggers or memories and realize that that freedom is on the other side, then it becomes easier to do these bigger traumas. Oh, there's the dog. The dog agrees with you. that's. So kind of a dog. There's two of them. I can't hear this. Oh, there's the second one. 

[00:40:45] Okay. Well the dogs bark on the truth. That's awesome. there, there's something riling them up. We have, there is over. They make no noise, very little noise. So, um, your book is available anywhere. Books are sold online. It is. Yes, it is awesome. So I will put the, um, the Amazon link, uh, in the show notes. So if you're not driving, if you're driving, you have to wait till the pullover while you're listening. 

[00:41:14] But if you're not driving, you can scroll down and all the links to fine Anne hints and her book and her YouTube channel and all her socials will all be there. Let's uh, do the six quick questions. Shall we? Okay. Okay. Um, what six words would you use to describe yourself? Actually, seven quick questions. 

[00:41:34] Not six. I miscounted. Okay. Six words. Would you use to describe yourself? Okay. Honest, logical. That's the engineering me fair, determined, uh, deep and peaceful. Now. Lovely. I'm glad for that for you. That's wonderful. Um, what's your favorite way to spend a day? I'm I'm actually pretty happy with any way to spend the day, these days, you know, I used to be someone who would always look forward to something mm-hmm and kind of miss out on the current days, but I actually love all my days. 

[00:42:09] Oh, that's a beautiful answer. yeah, I'm pretty happy doing whatever I'm doing. That's a, a very healthy answer. I love that. Thank you. You're the only person in how many, like 60, some art episodes that have ever said that amazing. Amazing. Um, okay. What's your favorite childhood memory? Okay. I don't have a huge number of positive childhood memories, but, um, when we lived in Hong Kong, I did used to love the Chinese food and my dad would take us occasionally to dim some oh, lovely. 

[00:42:47] The, I love lunchtime food. Yeah. And, and he was always happy with me when I ate food. Plenty of food. So it was a win-win situation. So yeah, it was probably, were you a difficult eater? No, I loved food. It's just, he wasn't happy most of the time. Oh, so he was happy and everyone was eating. He was happy. Okay. 

[00:43:08] Yes. So speaking of that, what's your favorite meal? I'm probably something like stew dumplings. I, I love, I love those rich rich foods. Yeah. Yum dumplings are great. Mm. Put anything in them. They're just great. Um, okay. What one piece of advice would you like to give your younger. okay. I'd like to give her two, if that's okay. 

[00:43:35] First one first one. Okay. The first one is a little weird and I will explain it. I would ask her not to wear any tight clothing. I used to wear a lot like tight belts. Cause I, I don't have a slim waist in my mother had a really slim waist and it's like, I used to wear type belts and, you know, bras that I used to wear as a child's have those pieces of metal in. 

[00:43:58] Yeah. But now I know. I believe our soul is contained in our, um, connective tissue. I believe I'm moving my awareness through the connective tissue and that is where our soul resides. And when we wear anything on an ongoing that's restrictive period of time, that's restrictive, that's holding that connective tissue down, then that's going to affect our futures. 

[00:44:23] So I wish I had not done that. Wow. So that's the first one. The second one. I would love her to know. Emotion it's just store energy and it just wants to dissipate and to allow it to happen. Beautiful. Beautiful. Yeah. I, I, uh, I used to do the belt thing. I don't do the belt thing. I have a whole drawer of belts. 

[00:44:44] I never wear any of them. Um, and I just, this past year gave up under wire bras. Uh, I, I. they just hurt none. They were not comfortable. Sure. The girls look great, you know, but they're just not comfortable. So I have tried a whole bunch of non underwear bras found a couple that I like, and that's what I go for. 

[00:45:04] They're much more comfortable and I can move without pain. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, I can see indentations in my shoulders. Yeah. Where the connected tissue has been compressed over the years. I just know what effect that that can have on the body now. So I, yeah. Yeah. Wish I hadn't done that. well, you know, the patron part of the past. 

[00:45:33] Okay. Number six. What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world? Well, the same thing. I would actually love the world to know that emotions under wire broad gentle in the fire you're right. but the emotions are just stuck energy, right? Because we are so emotional right now. We're so divided. 

[00:45:52] Yeah. And if we let all those emotions, that stored energy inside of us, if we let it dissipate, then we could come together in. I do believe that's the case. Yeah. A lot of people are holding, holding tight to everything that they have and not letting any of it go. And it just seeps out in anger and in venom and, and yeah. 

[00:46:15] Yeah. Yeah. And we want that seeping out to happen, but just on our own. Without pushing it on without, onto somebody else. Exactly. exactly. Yes. Um, now I don't know if you are a TV watcher, but I am very interested lately because so much, so many of us are spending more time or more time than ever at home because we're avoiding public places. 

[00:46:35] Cuz the pandemic, I'm wondering what people are binging on TV now. Okay. I don't really watch series, but okay. I love the matrix movies and you one just came out. Okay. And if you can see it from the point of view that I see it, it's showing how we replay things over and over again, until we look to them closely and let them go. 

[00:47:02] Okay. Matrix, did you see the, the newest one? Yeah. Matrix resurrections. all right. I haven't the whole series. I mean the whole series of those movies to me, let me give you this tipping Tibit so maybe people can look at it from this point of view that sure. The matrix is our outer world, the world we create with our thoughts and our mind and everything, our signal Uhhuh and the real world. 

[00:47:28] The machine world is our inner world and our mind and our brain. So most of us are projecting. We're all projecting. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We're creating what we think we see on the inside on it's the outside. So it's changing our perception of reality and changing our perception of ourselves. Interesting. Yes. 

[00:47:53] Yeah. Interesting Anne. I like that. I like that. This has been really great. I'm so glad that you have joined the permission to heal family. . Thank you. It's been great to be here. It's wonderful. Wonderful. So, um, as I said before, all the links and so on will be in the show notes. So, um, scroll down and you can find everything that is and hints, um, and take your own journey into your body and heal your. 

[00:48:22] Thank you so much, Anne. This has been really great. Thank you. Masie.